Olivia has one rule; Be Nice. She applies that rule the a certain seminal ’80s Cult Action Classic. That’s right, The Revamp is tackling ROADHOUSE!
Love it or hate it, Rowdy Herrington’s 1989 Road House is one of those films that’s dated and cheesy machismo is something that some simply cannot get enough of. My brother is one of them.
While there is a broader following of the film now, it is a following that took time. Why did so many seem to miss the cinematic soul in the plot, where a tough bouncer is hired to tame a dirty bar, and in turn tames the whole dirty town?
Well…some critics are not afraid to be blunt with where it fell for them and for cinema history.
Upon its release the film was not only described as “not a good movie,” by Roger Ebert and “a must see for bad movie fans,” by Basement Rejects, it was also nominated for (BUT DID NOT WIN) several Razzies including “Worst Picture”, “Worst Actor”, “Worst Supporting Actor”, “Worst Director”, and “Worst Screenplay”.
However, considering the love-hate relationship critics and viewers might have with the film (even Ebert felt the need to add that “viewed in the right frame of mind, it is not a boring one, either.”), the cheesy bar fights and romance remains satisfying.
Would it fair better today if studios and casting directors revamped the film? Maybe. Maybe not. However, if they did try a round two, it might be best to consider some of these potential actors and crew to not only revamp the film, but the story’s overall image.
Original Cast and Crew
Director: Rowdy Herrington has only directed a handful of films over the years, with Road House being the closest thing to a calling card in his back pocket. While other films, such as Repo Man (1984) and Gladiator (1992) are sure to have a fan here and there, they are but a second thought compared to other projects of the same genre or director.
Writers: R. Lance Hill and Hilary Henkin have both offered their writing abilities to the silver and television screen before, during, and since Road House. Hill has contributed to pulp fiction style films and shows such as The Evil that Men Do (1984), and even the sequel to Road House (Road House 2, 2006). Since Road House Henkin has had her creative hand in ‘cult’ productions such as Romeo is Bleeding (1993) and Wag the Dog (1997).
Music: Another great talent that we lost far too early, Jeff Healey’s music (both for the film and for his professional career) still echoes through the mind of the viewer long after the credits have finished rolling. While most like to comment on how incredible it is to have a guitar player who is blind, I want to rave more about how Healey’s combination of rock and the blues causes the ears to perk up during the screening, and how he offered one of the better soundtracks to a bar fight in any film to date.
Patrick Swayze (Dalton). The late and truly great Patrick Swayze was often times the heart and soul of the projects he was involved with, in front of or behind the camera. Whether he was your first crush in Dirty Dancing (1987) or Ghost (1990), the inspiration for your inner warrior such as Jed in Red Dawn (1984), or your inner woman such as in To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar (1995), there is a role that sticks out to each and every one of us.
Kelly Lynch (Doc). While Lynch had a variety of roles in a variety of films since her part as Doc in Road House, such as Drugstore Cowboy (1989), Virtuosity (1995), and Charlie’s Angels (2000), she remains under the radar of the big and bold social life of Hollywood. To date she is still a face that is remembered fondly, even if it is not seen in public all that often.
Sam Elliott (Wade Garrett). Much like Swayze, there is that one Elliott role that we associate the legend to. Or you can be like my mother who holds no prejudice and simply wants to see her leading man in anything and everything. From Virgil Earp in Tombstone (1993) and The Stranger in The Big Lebowski (1998), to Ben the Cow in Barnyard (2006) and Butch in The Good Dinosaur (2015), it is clear that one of this year’s forerunners for an Oscar is adored by movie fans big and small.
Ben Gazzara (Brad Wesley). The late Ben Gazzara starred in a variety of roles, in a variety of films, during his time in Hollywood including The Big Lebowski with Elliott. Sometimes on the quieter side, and others the brutal side, it is said that he is remembered most for his smooth demeanor, which is clear at times as Brad Wesley, royal d*@k extraordinaire.
Marshall R. Teague (Jimmy): A go to for any secondary, 1990’s role that required someone to have their ass handed to them (Walker, Texas Ranger (1993-2001), The Rock (1996), and Armageddon (1998)) Teague offered audiences the textbook example of a ‘second in command’ bug when it came to Jimmy. However, since he is close friends with Chuck Norris in real life, we can forgive his previous roles where he was anything but pleasant.
The Revamp
The Crew
Director
David Mackenzie
While Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez would make a rather alarming remake of the film (as the writers of the Basement Rejects suggested in their review of the film), I would have to vie for David Mackenzie (Hell or High Water (2016)) to take the reins of this revamp. Mackenzie’s style and choice in themes reflects the ghost town and isolation feel of the original Road House as does his choice in comedic timing. Who knows, with his vision, this revamp could bring justice to the original.
Music
The Black Keys
Now some might find me biased in choosing The Black Keys to be behind this revamp’s score, given I am from the northeast Ohio area. While I do have to give my local talent a shout out when it is needed, most would agree that they could offer a modern and personal twist to the already solid score left by Healey. Also, my buddy Adam made a good case for their contribution. In addition to the Keys, I would like to see the musical abilities and range of the bands Magnolia Bayou and Alabama Shakes added to the soundtrack, given their southern drawl and draw, and the location of the film.
Editor’s Note: Would it be great to see Mackenize work with the Fight Choreography team from 1187 (aka the folks that brought us the John Wick Trilogy)… just a thought. Back to Olivia’s awesome take!
The Actors
Dalton
Scott Eastwood
It would take a lot of guts to step into the shoes of Swayze, or for such an iconic (but cheesy and fun to play) role. However, I would think Scott Eastwood (The Longest Ride (2015) and Suicide Squad (2016)) would be a strong consideration. Known for being a great guy to be around on and off set, his personality would play well into the role of Dalton, who although a bit of a farce of macho men is still human at the heart of it all.
Doc
Olivia Thirlby
Although Olivia Thirlby (Juno (2007) and Chappaquiddick (2017)) is still an up and coming name in Hollywood, her presence would be a great addition to an already sophisticated but relaxed female role. With her previous experiences in both drama and comedy, if Mackenzie decided to make the film more of one or the other, she would be able to take the challenge head on.
Wade Garrett
Jeffery Dean Morgan
Three words. Jeffrey. Dean. Morgan. (Watchmen (2009) and The Walking Dead (2016-Currently). His voice and his look might not radiate the crush that is Sam Elliott, but that unique look and voice would give life to the ragamuffin mentor that is Wade. Out of all the names mentioned in the possibility of a revamp, Morgan’s was the first that came to mind for any of the roles.
Brad Wesley
David Strathairn
Equal parts potential, and equal parts similar looks, David Strathairn (The Jason Bourne series (2007- ), Temple Grandin (2010), and Lincoln (2012)) could be a great addition to the cast and crew. Known for playing the observant but passionate type, it would be cool to see him as a villain. Who knows, this might be the break he needs from the more methodical and dramatic roles he is known for…?
Jimmy
Walton Goggins
While Walton Goggins (Justified (2010-15), Sons of Anarchy (2012-14), and The Hateful Eight (2015)) might not have Teague’s physicality and swiftness when it comes to the final standoff between Jimmy and Dalton, the script could change to test Dalton’s intellect (a side we could see more of) given Goggin’s previous roles of cunning sidekicks. The squirminess and sliminess of his previous roles would also be satisfying to watch on a new twist of the Jimmy character.